Monday, November 29, 2010

Interested, Not Interesting

Several weeks ago, Oprah had Jane Fonda on, and Jane said something that really struck me. She was talking about being older, and how this time in her life is a great time, and perhaps better than others.

She then said that she has learned that to really connect with people (well, that's what I think she was saying anyway, as I think about that show) is to not be so self absorbed in trying to be interesting. She said, instead, that she now tries to be interested in others and their lives.

And I have thought a lot about that since then, and I guess it's another way of saying that we shouldn't be so selfish and serve others. Sometimes, serving others can be as simple as smiling, as saying hello, as saying "How are you doing?" and really meaning it. I have to tell you, I really loathe the "How are you doing?" line. I know it's considered polite, but if you don't really want to hear it, then don't ask. Because most people aren't just "Fine, thank you." But if you are sincere in asking, then be ready to hear the truth, and try to be one of those people that others like to confide in and tell the truth.

I know I'm very much at fault at the trying to be interesting, or talking about myself. I find that I sometimes tend to do that a lot, and it's not that I don't want to hear what others have to say, I think it's because, especially for the last two years, I haven't had very many people, outside of Brian, to tell about things going on in my life. While Brian is my best friend, I lack many close girl friends (which I've mentioned in a previous post on friendship). And so, when I get to talking to someone about anything I might remotely have my hand in (from costuming to photography), I tend to ... well, overshare and talk a lot about me and what I do.

And, because usually most of the time for conversation is short, I don't get to the point to ask the other person about themselves. *sighs*

So, as this year approaches its end, and a new one is soon to begin, I will try to be more interested in others, and not be so focused on seeming interesting. Because, while I may be interesting, I have a blog to talk all about me, right? ^_^


Brian November 29, 2010 at 9:59 PM  

So you want to be interestingly interested rather than interested in being interesting. Right?


Em November 30, 2010 at 2:21 AM  

But Gabby, I love your interesting self!! And I love hearing all about what you do, because you're so enthusiastic about it! That enthusiasm is infectious. And I need friends that spread enthusiasm just as much as I need friends who ask me about myself...sometimes even more so. You know those times in your life where things are pretty boring? Having someone ask me "what's new" or "how are you" during those times actually makes things worse. So anyway, while it's a worthy goal to be more interested (I have the same goal!)don't be down on yourself about it, and don't change who you are! Just add to it! :)

Gabby November 30, 2010 at 8:16 AM  

Aww, Em-chan! Thank you! You're so sweet! But then, you've known me for years and years, so .... maybe you're a little biased? *LOL* I can't figure out why I haven't made anymore close friends, so this is all I could think of. ^_^ But thank you, I shall try to strike a balance between the two, then.

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