THE New Year's Post

Happy New Year Y'all!

Yes, yes, this is the post where I tell you about how I lived up to last year's brand new expectations, and what I plan to do for this year. Hah! Now, I bet you think I'm just kidding, but ... I'm not. ^_^

Truthfully, last year wasn't that "bad" for me, but it wasn't much of anything, truthfully. Oh, I know I can find a lot of great highlights and the like, like doing Project 365 (sometimes I can't believe I'm still done with it -- I catch myself thinking of photos I need to take! *LOL*), but I just felt like last year just was. At least for me.

I have a good feeling about 2011. I feel that it will be a year of changes, among other things. But mostly, I just feel good about it. I feel like I'm on the right path. To what, I don't know. ^_^

I looked over last year's post to see what was going on then, and I have to just sigh and shrug. And smile.

The Job. Sure, my freelancing thing didn't take off like I wanted. I did get more work than I did the previous year, so that's nice. But it kind of dwindled for the last few months. Which means I will probably start having to look for a new job soon, as money's getting to the point that we don't want to be left without a little bit of a cushions. I'll still try to do the freelance thing, and hey, if I have a full time job and get a few freelance things once in awhile, that'll be nice, won't it? Ah, change one. ^_^

School. Brian's schooling hasn't gone as I planned, but I have learned that it ultimately has to be his decision. We have decided to really think and pray about it for the next month or two, and he will decide what he wants to do. I know there's fear, like how we will pay for it; will he be able to handle that plus a full time job; will other things come up that may impede it? But ... truthfully, I told him that I have faith that it will work out. That I know he's capable! He's one of the smartest people I know (and I wouldn't have married him if he was a dummy! *LOL*). We'll see. Ah, another (possible) change. ^_^

Crafting. I vowed to not buy anything crafty, but that went downhill when I became part of a creative team for a digital scrapbooking designer. Oh, well. I will try to be better, because of the whole money thing mentioned earlier.

Friendships. I think some got harder, and some got easier. Some stayed nicely where they were. I think in my post about friendship some time back, I kinda spilled my thoughts about trying to be a better friend, and how others are in friendship. However, I think I got some clarity on trying to be a better friend when I wrote about being more interested than trying to be interested. I think I also realized a few things: As much as I want to be a better friend, I can only handle them one at a time, maybe two, depending. For some reason, I just cannot function well in a group. I sometimes feel silenced, ignored, or not included (even though I'm physically there). I know, I know. It's probably all me. But ... I kinda like being with just one gal pal. Because that way I can focus completely on her, and she on me. I think in a group it's so easy to be superficial, unless you all know each other really well. I think, also, because I had one best girl friend for a long time, that being in a group of bestie gal pals is something foreign to me, and at this stage, I don't know how to function like that -- it's awkward for me. I guess I also just want to feel important to that person as well. *shrugs* ^_^

So, what will this new year bring for me? What do I want to focus on? Well, I already mentioned some changes and possible changes.

Along with perhaps Brian really going back to school on a consistent basis, is a move. Oh, not far, just to another area nearby that would be closer to the school we've been looking at that has a program Brian's interested in. It still would be a suburb of Dallas. I know for sure that we're a little tired of this apartment with its poor management, noisy, rude neighbors, and the very high electric bills (especially during the summer, yikes!). Ideally we'd like to rent a house, but ... we'll see. I do know that I told Brian that wherever we go, I think I want it to be the last move we make before we get a house.

Which brings me to the next thing we want to work on, which is our finances! Except for the variable of the exorbitant, fluctuating summer electric bill, I went over a budget and realized we actually have the potential to be saving much more than we have been. I actually didn't think we had the money, but we've just been a little less aware of it for the last 6 months, or so (maybe longer) and it's time to get a reign back on things. And be aware of what we're spending money on. AND, if I get a job somewhat soon, than most of what I'm making can go directly to savings. I want to have an emergency savings, plus a house savings (down payment, plus any extra expenditures, including an allotment for new furniture), before we even consider a house. I don't want to be house poor. And I also don't want to constantly be putting money into the house. For now, renting works for us, so that's where we are.

Another thing that I want to do is increase my spirituality. I'm not the best about praying in the morning and evening, nor about studying scriptures, but I think now that I'm not focused on other things, like Project 365, and not going to bother with TRYING to read at least 50 books in a year, that I can take a few moments that I had devoted to those, to spiritual pursuits. I think writing in my personal journal will also help with this, as I need to devote time to me and my private thoughts. Phew, doesn't that sound daunting?! ^_^

Well, it's like a leader in my church talked about: "Good. Better. Best." He talked about how there are many Good things in this world to devote our time to. But, there are even Better things than those. And, ultimately, there are the Best things to devote ourselves to. In church on Sunday we had a lesson that reiterated this (going along with setting goals and resolutions), and the teacher had a great object lesson about this. She had a bowl and asked people to call out what some of the Best things to do were. For each thing someone called out, she filled the bowl with an orange, lemon or lime. The bowl got pretty full, and she asked if we could fit anything else in. Some thought not, some thought maybe. But then she brought out a bag of rice, and she said that those grains represented the Better things, and the Good things. The rice filled in all the empty spaces in between the fruit. After we do all the Best things we need to do in our life (and, by the way, it wasn't just spiritual things, as going to work was mentioned, so that one can pay for mortgage/rent and food! ^_^) then we can have time to do the other things that are Good as time permits. And then someone commented that if the bowl/life fills up with those things and we can't get to them, then that's okay, because the Best things have already been taken care of. (And, it was also mentioned that if the bowl had been filled with the rice, we wouldn't be able to fit the fruit in.) Isn't that a great lesson? I think I shall remember it for a long time.

So, this year I shall try to be my Best self, because that's all I can be. Sure, there are days when I may only be Good, or days when I am Better, but hopefully if I aim high, then I will not succumb to the bad. ^_^ But, of course, I'm only human. And, if I do fall one day, I always have the next to pick myself up (and hopefully good friends to help along the way).

So, there you have it, my few blogger friends. May we all have a fantastic 2011!! ^_^